After last week’s email, things got pretty rough. I was super depressed and thought that I had made up my mind to go home. At one point in the day, I was pretty sad about Cricket, I think I must have teared up a bit. Well, my companion asked what was wrong, so I told him about Cricket. All he had to say was "You are crying over a dog?" Then he proceeded to laugh. That was the last straw. I called the president and went to the office the next day. We talked for a good two hours. He told me that he could help. He talked with my companion and things have been better since. We still have our troubles, but he is trying a little harder. This week was better, but I have still had my struggles.
I had the opportunity to go on exchanges two nights this week. One was with elder Davila, and the other was with elder Snyder. Elder Snyder is from the states, so I was able to speak English with him and that helped a ton. Also, I got my hands on a English Liahona, so I’ve been reading that non- stop. I think I have read it 4 times! It helps to read the words of Apostles. I keep reading one titled, "The Cost and Blessings of Discipleship." It’s by Jeffery R. Holland. I love it because talks about the struggles that we all face in our lives and on our missions. In Mathew 23:37-38, talks about the city Jerusalem and how it stoned prophets, and they didn’t listen to the word. Elder Holland goes on to say...
"And there in lies a message for every young man and woman in this church. You may wonder if it is worth it to take a courageous moral stand in high school or to go on a mission only to have your most cherished beliefs reviled or to strive against much in society that sometimes ridicules a life of religious devotion. Yes, it is worth it, because the alternative is to have our "Houses" left unto us "desolate"- Desolate individuals, desolate families, desolate neighborhoods, and desolate nations."
This hit me hard. I still want to go home. Every day I wake up and feel like crap. But then I hear the words of JRH "Yes, it is worth it." I might not be able to complete two years in this sad country, but I remind myself that every week is a success. I know people will think different of me, if I go home and I will disappoint a lot of people. But I know I am giving it my best. One of my closest missionary friends told me that if I can’t do it and if I go home early - it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Because I had the desire to serve. I have figured out that all I have to do is take it one week at a time. It’s not easy. Never was - never will be. But I’m here doing all I can to stay out.
I have turned to the scriptures for help. I was reading in 3rd Nephi chapter 17. This is when Christ visits the Nephites after his resurrection. He sits down and teaches the people, then afterwards he tells them to go home and pray about it because it is time for him to return to heaven. The people begin to cry and sob because they do not want him to go. So Jesus says "Behold, my bowels are filled with compassion towards you." He then tells them to bring all the sick to him. He heals all their sick. Then he says, bring all your little children to me and let me bless them. So all the children gather around him and he blesses them. Then he says let us pray. So everyone knelt down and this is what they said.
"And after this manner do they bear record: The eye hath never seen neither hath the ear heard, before, so great and marvelous things as we saw and heard Jesus speak unto the Father. And no tongue can speak, neither can there be written by any man, neither can the hearts of men conceive so great and marvelous things as we both saw and heard Jesus speak..."
What a great example. It was time for him to go, but he stayed and helped. I want to go home so bad, but I am willing to follow the example of the Savior and take it one more week at a time. I love you all at home so much and I thank everybody that has sent me emails and letters. I want to thank the young women because I read those letters every day to keep me going! I love you guys so much and I hope everyone is safe! Miss you and love you tons!
P.S. I'm eating CUY for my birthday!!!!